Did somebody say boundaries?

Hot tips and reflection questions so you can give your boundaries a check-up.

There’s a ton of helpful and not-so-helpful information on these Internet streets about boundaries. Here’s a lil guide for making and maintaining meaningful ones:

1. Check in with yourself: What can you accept and tolerate in this relationship/situation/dynamic? What action are you willing to take if your boundaries aren’t respected?

2. Communicate your boundaries: This could look like “Hey, I love connecting with you, but I also need time away from my phone. I’ll answer messages from 10am to 9pm. If you call or text outside of those times, I won’t answer.” With a structure like this, you’re communicating 1) this relationship is important to you; 2) what you need & your clear, specific boundary; 3) what you’re willing to do if your boundaries aren’t respected.

3. Uphold your boundary: Follow-through on the action you’ll take if your boundaries aren’t respected. It’s a way of showing up for yourself and communicating that you’re serious about the boundary, which makes others more likely to take it seriously, too. This can be really hard, especially if folks aren’t used to you setting boundaries or if they feel triggered by them. Remember that you don’t have to solve other adults’ emotions, and your boundaries are what you need to be happy and healthy. You deserve that!

4. Evaluate over time: Boundaries can flex and change. It’s a good idea to occasionally take inventory on how your boundaries are supporting you and if you need to make any shifts.

Reflection Questions:

How do you feel about setting boundaries? What about upholding them?

What are your most important boundaries with yourself? What about with others? With work?

How were boundaries set and upheld in your family of origin? Are those patterns still with you?

Tarot Spread:

To use this spread:

Shuffle your Tarot or oracle cards, setting the intention to explore the theme. Lay out three cards, as shown in the diagram. Start with the left, then middle, then right. Interpret each card based on the intention set for each card. Reflect on the guidance you’ve received.

How are you doing with #boundaries lately? Let me know in the comments!